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GraySky
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Depending on what you're trying to acomplish, I like it, or dislike it. If you're going for styleish and cute, it's rather fantastic, if you're going for "hardcore" and exciteing... well... I just kinda feel sorry for you. D: |
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Razz
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 1093
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Shavic
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 678
Location: Dallas, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:49 am Post subject: |
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MORE PAGES!!! 
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Ruskin
Joined: 03 Oct 2004
Posts: 1119
Location: Rawr.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:25 am Post subject: |
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Graysky, you are retarded.
In other news:
Kid, that is seriously rockin. I'm being completely serious when I say this is the best thing I've seen from you. Ever. The style is tight and homogenous, the transitions, for the most part, are smooth and purposeful. The one thing that is a little jarring, as far as overall flow goes, is the transition from panel 1 to panel 2. It's clear that you're working with the same subject matter, but the way you pull a 180, it disrupts the flow of the piece. It's minor, but redrawing panel 1 from the opposing angle might tighten up the work as a whole.
Also, again minor, the fact that the whole thing is on the exact same segment of digital texture is fine, except for the slight dogear in the top right corner of every frame... It's not a big deal, really, but the fact that every panel takes place on that same exact segment was a little distracting for me.
The last thing is that I feel you're going a bit too intense with that last panel. The extreme close-up is visually interesting, maybe, but seems superfluous and purposeless. An extreme close-up is fine, and is suited perfectly well for that contrast from extremely far away, but I think you overdid it. It's too extreme, and is jarring in the way you don't want. You clearly want it to be jarring, to relate to the distress of the protagonist, but the way it is now, the form is distracting from the content. Readers are seeing comics instead of story. And that is totally against the tone you set up with the rest of it.
(sorry, art college does that to you... I may have done a few too many comics critiques :/ I couldn't not critique this... I just really dig it, and want it to be the best it can be)
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Rawr.
| K^N wrote: | | “WTF!? OLD FILTH MONSTER!?” |
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kidnemo
Site Admin
Joined: 31 Jul 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: cactuar village
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| Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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First post updated with a bunch of new pages!
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let's be honest, the zombie army is here |
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jesternim
Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Posts: 1771
Location: Alberta
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lancelot323
Joined: 16 Oct 2006
Posts: 22
Location: The East coast. Of WHERE? Nowhere. Just the east coast.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:55 am Post subject: |
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What could he be running from?
Definitely staying tuned for more...I'm loving the artwork so far. Very 1940's-ish.
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Eerongal
Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 420
Location: The material plane
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:17 am Post subject: |
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| Ruskin wrote: | Graysky, you are retarded.
In other news:
Kid, that is seriously rockin. I'm being completely serious when I say this is the best thing I've seen from you. Ever. The style is tight and homogenous, the transitions, for the most part, are smooth and purposeful. The one thing that is a little jarring, as far as overall flow goes, is the transition from panel 1 to panel 2. It's clear that you're working with the same subject matter, but the way you pull a 180, it disrupts the flow of the piece. It's minor, but redrawing panel 1 from the opposing angle might tighten up the work as a whole.
Also, again minor, the fact that the whole thing is on the exact same segment of digital texture is fine, except for the slight dogear in the top right corner of every frame... It's not a big deal, really, but the fact that every panel takes place on that same exact segment was a little distracting for me.
The last thing is that I feel you're going a bit too intense with that last panel. The extreme close-up is visually interesting, maybe, but seems superfluous and purposeless. An extreme close-up is fine, and is suited perfectly well for that contrast from extremely far away, but I think you overdid it. It's too extreme, and is jarring in the way you don't want. You clearly want it to be jarring, to relate to the distress of the protagonist, but the way it is now, the form is distracting from the content. Readers are seeing comics instead of story. And that is totally against the tone you set up with the rest of it.
(sorry, art college does that to you... I may have done a few too many comics critiques :/ I couldn't not critique this... I just really dig it, and want it to be the best it can be) |
I would like to offer up my counter-critique of "It's cool, and i like it". :P
(and that's the effect that computer college has on your art critique skills, if anyones wondering.) |
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willymj
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 3
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Razz
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 1093
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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NO DON'T FALL OFF THE CLIFF MERELY BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED AND ALONE AND NOT LOOKING IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD ONLY MAKE YOU WORSE!
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Eerongal
Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 420
Location: The material plane
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 8:17 am Post subject: |
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| CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL! |
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Ruskin
Joined: 03 Oct 2004
Posts: 1119
Location: Rawr.
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:26 am Post subject: |
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So, the panel where he starts running, if you just make the lower lip come up the tiniest tiniest fraction of a smidge, then it will look more anguished. You need like, one tiny curved line subtracted from the black where the mouth is.
Totally strengthen that.
PS, Eerongal, that's not a counter-critique, that's just dumb. You're dumb.
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Rawr.
| K^N wrote: | | “WTF!? OLD FILTH MONSTER!?” |
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Eerongal
Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 420
Location: The material plane
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| Ruskin wrote: | | PS, Eerongal, that's not a counter-critique, that's just dumb. You're dumb. |
I agree, that Eerongal jerk is dumb.
On topic:
How long is this lil' mini comic gonna be? Because it seems like it's a setup for what could be a rather long story in it's own right  |
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kidnemo
Site Admin
Joined: 31 Jul 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: cactuar village
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:49 am Post subject: |
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| Razz wrote: | | NO DON'T FALL OFF THE CLIFF MERELY BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED AND ALONE AND NOT LOOKING IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD ONLY MAKE YOU WORSE! |
lols, that is probably my favorite thing anyone has said about the comic so far.
| Eerongal wrote: | On topic:
How long is this lil' mini comic gonna be? Because it seems like it's a setup for what could be a rather long story in it's own right |
I have a good idea where I want the story to go for a while, so I figure I'll just let it ride and see how it goes.
If people enjoy reading it, I will keep making it yea?
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let's be honest, the zombie army is here |
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mep
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 2446
Location: the future that is AKU.
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:53 am Post subject: |
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| Eerongal wrote: | | CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL! |
EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU NEED TO STEER BUDDY.. |
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